Fail forward

There are countless folk desiring to start a business, leap into that love relationship, have a baby, learn a new hobby, master a trade, BUT, there’s a BIG BUT! I remember one day after chapel at my daughters’ school, I was talking to a mommy friend about an exam that I have yet to pass. Additionally, I shared with her my vision and she replied, “You know Rekeshia the older I become I ask myself, what the hell am I so afraid of?” It was at that moment that I realized most times when taking a leap, one must DO IT AFRAID. What is there to lose? Think about it, if you never try, you won’t ever know what could potentially happen. Think of it this way, if you attempt and fail, do what I have mastered so well, FAIL FORWARD. What does that mean? I have decided to WIN. In doing so, I will do whatever it takes, morally correct, even if it means taking what seems like forever to the critics and onlookers. I have decided to be the girl who goes for it. When I concretely declare my goals and obstacles act as barriers, initially, there’s a bit of frustration. Consciously, I ground my thinking, I affirm myself, I reflect on my goals and purpose and move in faith. Sometimes I move a little slower because fear sets in, but I have to tell myself if not now then when, if not me then who; especially if I know I have been called to begin the task and follow through with it.

Struggles build your spiritual muscles. Come struggles, come wisdom. Wise up and rise up!

Often time people are paralyzed with the idea of failure. The mind will prevent you from moving forward on that success list. The mind will talk you out of doing what you feel passionate about if you aren’t careful. Take control of your thoughts. Boss back that negative talk. Get a song in your heart. Begin and don’t wait on perfect conditions to do so.

People believe that if they begin working on their goals and the plans don’t work out accordingly then it’s failure. Let me be the first to tell you that it isn’t failure until you quit. Every expert was once a beginner and believe me I have failed at enough to know how much more I learn from those experiences. One more positive way to view failing is a delayed learning experience. The goal is delayed in order to sharpen self for the purpose of the responsibility that lies ahead. It could be more massive than you anticipate. This is surely where patience and regulated emotions need to be checked. Sometimes it could be a lesson in patience, humility, perseverance, love, God will be glorified from the journey.

Do not let that thought of defeat prevent you from moving in purpose on purpose. A few things that I encourage you to do in order to move forward include; 1. Pray for clarity and vision 2. Write your vision in a journal 3. Connect with an accountability partner for wise counsel 4. Ask yourself each day, “What was my win for today? What did I do today towards my goal(s)?” 5. Stay committed and consistent.

Above all, you have the power to move from where you are and change your situation. You are what you eat. Feed yourself with the right thinking, clear thinking, positive thinking. Understand that where you are now is not where you have to stay. There’s always room for self improvement. You would be surprised at the many sisters and/or brothers who are watching your life. You’re someone’s quiet inspiration. You’re someone’s hope. Now, I admonish you to “Go and Do it Afraid!” So much love to you all!

Intentional, Compassionate, Understanding (ICU)

That which comes from the heart reaches the heart. Treat others the way you want to be treated. In all your getting, get an understanding.

This past Sunday my Pastor’s sermon topic was “Improve your Family.” It begins with ME. From the message the acronym ICU was used to illustrate the stance that one should take in improving the family unit. Family support means everything. Family bonding means so much. Family ties are burden lifters.

My maternal grandmother passed away June 2014 and boy did we learn what we pretty much knew. She was the earthly cornerstone of our family. She was our rock. She was everything to us. Her heart was pure and she was the epitome of love and truth. She displayed to us how family should love and cherish one another, but somehow when she passed away there was some sort of disconnect due to our hurt from her loss. We just couldn’t seem to find our way back together. It was an awkward feeling being at family dinners. My eldest uncle finally said one afternoon before our family prayer, “I don’t care if it’s a handful that shows up to dinner, we will have it every month.” To his point, we had dinner every month pre C-19 and our love ones began to show up consistently and eventually with a better spirit and attitude towards one another.

It is when that one someone DECIDES and INFLUENCES the group to follow for the benefit of all that change happens and bonds are rekindled authentically. I know so well how life is short and at that moment my uncle expressed much of what I know my grandma was thinking, “A family that prays together, stays together.” Being intentional means to do it with all of your heart, mind and soul, withholding nothing. Whatever it is that you’re working at, do it as if you’re doing it for the Lord. Be intentional, be authentic, be in tune with all of your senses. Make it meaningful and don’t miss the moment.

Compassion is a matter of the heart. Its expressing concern and care for someone and doing your part to ease the feeling. We live in a world where people are going through various issues, coming out of issues or heading into an unexpected circumstance. Those matters could be relative to marriage, divorce, grief, career confusion, failed business, wayward children, self image, insecurity, uncertainty, financial crisis, to name a few. Compassion for your fellow neighbor may seem small, but it goes so far. Have you ever been in your feelings because something was not going your way and so you took it out on whatever that bad habit may have been and decided to put a yield on everything you were supposed to do and then that thing that you had been emotional about was not what you thought after all and so you decided to carry on as you should before you decided not to when you were in your feelings? Whew!!! That was a mouthful and provoked a lot of thought in order to gain an understanding. I know, but it is a prime example why compassion is important. People are walking around with the world on their mind and saying they are ok. That’s a lie. They are not ok. Be gentle with people. Smile. Choose your words wisely. Listen sincerely.

As you’re showing compassion, be sure that you are understanding and not so judgmental. Do you believe that love conquers all? Are you afraid that if you’re understanding that you agree with a person’s choice? Think about this, you may not agree with everything a love one does, but if you’re honestly, attempting to gain understanding, you never know how that strengthens the trust factor; thereby, giving you an opportunity to bond more and let your light shine. It is through the light that darkness is overpowered. It is through sincerity that phoniness becomes discomfort. In other words, if you’re the light and you’re understanding and not judgmental, there lies the self improvement that was sought after. Improving your circle begins with improving yourself. Who’s all in? So much love to you all!

Patience and Emotions

In everything with prayer and supplication, present your request to God and the peace of God will transcend all understanding. What does this truly mean? Pray about everything, worry about nothing, live in peace and wait patiently to receive. As the saying goes, “It’s the patience for me.” Ha! Seriously, I have a few things before the Lord that has me perplexed in His response at the moment. Undoubtedly, what continues to have me grounded is God’s track record. He’s no shorter than His word.

In the meantime, what should I do? Well, what do you do when you’re awaiting the manifestation of God’s promise? Currently, I am in this state. I am serving, praying and listening. I am serving my community by connecting and praying regularly with Moms in Prayer through my daughters’ school, leading the Virtual Greeters Ministry at Brown Missionary Baptist Church, leading the Life Prep New Members Arm at BMBC, assisting within the Economic Development Committee of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, establishing groundwork and raising funds for my foundation, The Cleo T. Hudson, Jr. Memorial Foundation, sharpening my financial literacy skill set within my business as I continue to educate the community on how money works, training up my sweet daughters to become the best little ladies that they have been called to be, being as accessible to humankind as possible, just to mention a few. I am praying the Lord’s will. Lord knows I pray that these two things are His will. Hahahaha! Lastly, I am still enough to hear His voice and harken to what He says. If that isn’t enough to help me stay progressive. Unfortunately, it keeps me physically busy, but my mind is still emotionally tied to two things in particular that would make my life even more joyful. Yet, patience and emotions remain an intricate trait when it comes to progress. Otherwise, the blessing will be aborted and I’ve come too far to let that be so.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass

Mostly I handle my emotions through the use of affirmations and within the last month I have began working out at the gym and eating the proper meals. Additionally, I rewrite what God has told me so that in times of vulnerability and anxiousness, I am reminded why I should control my emotions and be patient. One thing I know, God is faithful. Ask yourself this question, “Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” In all of your thinking about your future, do not forget to live in the moment, laugh aloud, love with all of your heart. Take the risk. Live by faith. Do good to others. So much love to you all!

Always a wife

Wife defined as a help meet, lover, friend, home maker, peace to a storm, calm to a rage, problem solver, nurturer. December 13, 2017, I woke up a wife and cried myself to sleep as a widow.

January 2000, my late husband and I began to date as a result of courting for a short period of time. We dated until June 2007 and then we were married. We moved into our home September 2007 and life as we knew it sparked ups and downs and turnarounds. Just as with many things there was a lot of growing pains and then smooth sailing. So, as you can see I’ve always been a wife, even as a girlfriend, I had wife tendencies. What does that mean? I wanted him, I loved him, I cared for him, I sacrificed for him, I was comfortable with him, it was a natural connection, it was a decision for better or for worse.

I was sitting here yesterday and said to myself, “I’m still a wife.” I know that sounds crazy, but I have been called to marriage. Believe it or not, it isn’t only because I don’t want to burn. Hahaha, for those of you who listened to Pastor Orr’s message about singleness. I honestly have so much to share with a companion and there is so much I have to learn from a companion.

I am still a wife, I still have a lot to offer, I still have so much love to give. I still have so much nurturing and caring to do. I am still a wife and honestly after October 2019, I woke up and realized that I am worthy of another shot at sharing my world with someone truly special. I anticipate the moment that God gives me solely to my soul mate, yes soul mate. I believe that sprits connect. I believe in intuition and when you know, you just know. If you knew the beginning stages of how Cleo, my late husband and I connected then you’d understand what I mean. I will write about that at some point. I believe in divine appointments. So, yes, I am still a wife and I will continue to carry myself as such (minus the sex, lol).

The days seems long throughout this process. Sometimes it seems like an endless road. I am however focused on becoming a better me which helps me become a better wife. The race isn’t given to the swift, but to the one who endures until the end. Scripture says, “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.” One thing I have never doubted is being a good thing. Wherever he may be, he will be a blessed man. So, again, yes, I am still a wife. I am delighted to be just that. So much love to you all!

“When you come to the understanding that everything you want can be created through your mind, through the use of right thinking, which is simply clear thinking, you come to the realization that only you can give yourself what you want.”
-Dr. Robert Anthony

There is always something to do!

I remember when I was on bed rest thinking, “Sheesh, I am missing out on all of my friends’ festivities.” I have always been the one to accept the invitation, especially before having my girls. Showing up for friends and love one shows a great deal of love in action. Family and community are so important and I have learned that more since I have been a widow since December 2017. You truly reap what you sow. Honestly, I love being around positive vibes and I am thrilled to be a part of a fun party. So truly, it is easy to accept the invitation. In doing so, I have been blessed by the best circle of love ones.

Fast forward the clock, two little girls later, there is STILL so much to do. Even during the pandemic, I find myself attending zoom meetings for work and pleasure each and everyday. As we learn to live and transition back into person to person contact, there is STILL much to do. To think in 2010, I thought I missed out of everything and nothing else would happen once I was released from bed rest. Little did I know my agenda would lengthen because I’d have an added tribe, a mommy tribe.

So I will say enjoy the present, enjoy the journey, don’t miss the moment. There is ALWAYS something to do. Evolution is all around us. There will forever be conferences, concerts, parties, play dates, GNOs, self care time, quiet time, and so much more. As always, live in the moment, love with all of your heart, and laugh until your belly aches. So much love to you all.

Let me introduce myself

When I was a little girl, I’d always say I would become a teacher or an actress. You wonder why? Perhaps you think, I love helping others and I am theatrical. Well, let’s just say as a little girl I had strong leadership skills better known as bossy by my friends.

My secondary education encompasses time spent at Whitehaven High graduating in the second to none class of 2002. Shortly, after my high school graduation, I attended Austin Peay State University. Homesickness took over and I transferred to the University of Memphis after the first semester, one of my biggest regrets. Money can’t buy memories and I regret everyday making that permanent decision to transfer schools and reside at home instead of the dorm. Needless to say, I completed and furthered my education at Freed-Hardeman University earning a Master’s degree in Education.

My career path included working in outreach recruiting first generation high school students to summer Math/Science collegiate programs. I had such a passion for that career, as I was a first generation student with a vast understanding of cultural exposure and learning from others’ differences, which makes the world more interesting and a wide open classroom. Simultaneously, I had been dating my high school sweetheart turned husBAE since the age of 15. To our union we bore two gorgeous and fierce little girls.

My second career included working with Shelby County Schools as a professional school counselor, but that career was short lived for countless reasons. Prayerfully, I asked the Lord to remove me from the district. I desired greater, more freedom and an environment that allowed me to fulfill my purpose without persecution and anxiety filled days and nights. I was led to the financial services industry, where I currently serve as a recruiter, my first love. This profession allows me to help families set and reach their goals while accomplishing countless personal ambitions. Life has been filled with many unexpectancies, but there’s a valid reason for most of them.

A few fun facts about me include;

  1. Dancing is my happy place.
  2. I founded a foundation in memory of my awesome husband.
  3. Great conversations will keep me around.
  4. Outreach is profound and therapeutic.

My vow is to use my voice, even if it shakes. The purpose of my blog is to share my testimonies, stories, laughs, highs, lows, and buffalos with the world because I believe we all can gain insight on how to navigate life peacefully and happily.

Self care is the best care! Since my husband’s death and as my girls are evolving, I have fallen deeper in love with myself, caring for myself and listening to myself. I have recognized the importance of self love and getting to know my likes and dislikes, how to please myself with simple pleasures. I am honestly enjoying getting to know me better and I never understood that until I had to.