Unconventional and REAL

If you are the smartest person in the room, be sure to hang in other rooms. Yes, rooms where people are more educated on various subject matters. What’s one of the most common ways we gain knowledge? It’s from someone else. Assess your circles. What’s the subject matter? Do any of them stretch you? Do any of them challenge you to research more or jog curiosity? Are there ideas in the room? Does this room contribute to your growth? What positive influence does this room have on you?

Healthy relationships promote peace, good decision making and a passion for intentional living. When you are surrounded by those who are driven, self assured, and smart it is contagious. You’ve heard the saying birds of a feather flock together. It is true that you become who you hang around. Do you wonder why you have the habits that you cannot break? Perhaps, it is because there is no accountability and it is the standard among your circle. Is there any discomfort? Is there value in the friendships that you possess? Do you add value? Are you encouraged to become your best just by being in their presence?

Stretch yourself to your fullest potential by centering yourself around those who you genuinely care about, but you can learn from them and I’m sure there are matters that they may learn from you as well. Stacy Abrams discussed in her book, Minority Leader, how she was recruited into Telluride Association Summer Program. She was totally out of her comfort zone living amongst brainiacs. She said one young lady had written a book of poems and it served as intimidation because she’d only written a few poems for articles at her school. Think about that, Stacy was the smartest one within her circle, but once she attended a prestigious program she was exposed to those who thought beyond what she has been doing, which were amazing contributions within her territory. Now she was aware of what more she could pursue. She was uncomfortable and fearful. She wanted to go home, but her parents refused because they knew it would stretch her thinking, pull out her potential and shape her into the leader she was destined to become. Like Stacy, we all have gifts to give to the world, so let us not neglect the opportunity to enhance that gift so that we may continue to advance the industry that we have been purposed to shape. So much love to you all.

If you find a why you will figure out what and how. I had the opportunity to share a sensitive space with a young lady yesterday. We discussed faith over fear. When was the last time you accomplished a task afraid? What was the outcome of your task? How did you feel along the way? How did you feel after completion? In my experience when I have a reason for doing something, I’m more focused on the possibility rather than failure. For example, I’ve mentioned before how I’ve failed am exam several times. I shared with the young lady my experience with failing the exam. Quitting because of failure has not crossed my mind because I have so many possibilities to make my dreams become reality. When I have failed the test, my initial response has been tears and frustration. Undoubtedly, I equate my need to pass to my desires to win in my life. Additionally, it is a teachable moment for my daughters. The lesson includes persistence and perseverance. Since that’s the case, I have decided to keep going because I will not give up on arriving at my destination because of a score. I will not allow momentary failure to detour my desires, purpose and promises. Fear has a way of gripping and crippling. We have to allow our faith to arrest fear and set us free.

My why takes precedent over any obstacles. My thought process is if I do not, then my failure and fear blocks my chance to increase my tithes, my mission offering, my funding to my foundation, my desire to internationally travel with my daughters every season, my goal to travel monthly within the states debt free, my push to enlarge my territory with other desires on my success list. Is fear worthy of my goals, my purpose, my passion? Does fear have that much power over an individual? Fear, absolutely should not. I have mentioned it once and I will will mention it again, faith does not make it easy, but faith makes it possible. If you quit, who else are you permitting to quit since you’re the center of influence?

As I sat and listened to the young lady, I reflected on the list of things that I have been designed to do and how grateful I am for finally accomplishing some of those things, such as my blog, my foundation, and my publication. I was able to empathize with her because there was a moment in my life when I thought, I have got to accomplish what I have been designed to possess, particularly because it is inspiring to myself, my daughters and those who are stuck. Proudly, I was able to say, affirm your life, make a list, begin, don’t fret. Move forward in faith. People truly need to hear that they are not the first nor the last to seem stuck and undecided, unfulfilled. No matter the age, people are searching and seeking. People are on a quest to live a self assured and happy life, but battle with what that looks like. Just another reason why the journey is necessary. Just another reason why there is a lesson in the pressing so that that part of the story may have a voice added to it because someone needs to hear the story behind the glory. Keep going until uncomfortable becomes comfortable. So much love to you all.

On Career

Every expert was once a beginner. The more you passionately and intentionally focus on something, the better you will become. Visions do become realities once you include prayer, preparation and execution. The Lord sends who you need and when you need that someone. God has designed you for a particular purpose. When you discover the what, you will find out the how, just know why and allow that to motivate you always. When things are not working out in your favor, but God has told you this is your purpose, it will be fulfilled, don’t become despondent. What God has told you in the light, use your flashlight when it’s dark. The purpose remains the same, the road you travel to get there will always alternate. Adjust and keep going.

On Ministry/Outreach

On King David ‘s quest to rebuild the altar, he sought to purchase the foundation, but Araunah insisted he took what he needed since it was for the Lord. King David did not believe that would be a sacrifice, that would not be a burnt offering. He told Araunah that he would not offer the Lord that which cost him nothing. His motive was an act of love, selflessness and intentionality. Love is evident through action and although Araunah was willing to give what was needed for the altar, David insisted on carrying out his motive, which was sacrificial and action oriented. I’m sure some of us would have attributed what Araunah was giving unto him as a “blessing in disguise”, but that was not David’s motive. He was selfless and deemed it necessary to be intentional, he understood denial of self, the royalty and divinity of God. Isn’t that what ministry is all about? Denial of self, moving with an intentional motive and remaining focused on that. He wanted to sacrifice and serve. How powerful is that! How passionate! How loving, noble! Ministry is an intentional and selfless act that mirrors the heart of man. I often remind myself of the scripture that says, “I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing” II Samual 24:24b NIV.

On Parenting

Parenting is like roller skating. Have you ever been roller skating, you’re feeling the vibe, dancing, enjoying the time and then KABOOM!!! someone bumps into you abruptly and onto the floor you roll. My goodness, how shocking! After you calm yourself, you get up, dust yourself off and begin again. Parenting my girls has so many strengths and exudes a lot of joy. I would be fooling myself if I didn’t acknowledge the challenges such as the disagreements we have due to our varying viewpoints. I know, I’m the parent and they are the children, but they have opinions and ideas. They understand what negotiable and non-negotiable means in our home. Negotiable means there is flexibility such as dinner plans. If it’s taco Tuesday, they may mention they would rather have Moe’s rather than homemade. A non-negotiable would be Chance asking for artificial nails at ten years old. She may continue to ask, but the answer is inflexible. Getting kids to understand your language gives leverage to parenting. I have learned to be careful with what I say that I will do because it is challenging to deter from plans when the expectation is set, although it happens. For example, if I’m aware of a birthday invitation, the girls are made aware the day of or the day before because it keeps them focused on what is priority for the week, prevents them from constantly asking about the event, and if there’s an interception I do not have to apologize and revert our plans for attending. Parenting is a thrill and I am pretty good about exchanging ideas with other great moms, as this responsibility requires support and listening ears.

On Grief

It’s like an ocean. One moment you’re happy, the next you may be melancholy. One moment you are ready to conquer the world, the next moment you can’t see past your door’s threshold. Prayer, praise, support, planning, and feeling what you need to feel so you may heal is a recipe for growing in grace. Grief does not disappear. In fact, it’s creepy. You may be having the best day ever, arrive home, exhausted and to your discovery your grief meets you in your lethargy. The best way to grip grief is to be prepared to respond when your emotions flare up. For example, sometimes I know I have to ride the wave, some moments, I phone a friend for dinner, other times, I remind myself of what’s to be expected. I’m equipped to get through the moment. One thing I assure myself of is that I will get from one moment to the next because I want to overcome.

On Dating

My affirmations on dating include, “I am patient. I’m not impulsive. God’s timing promotes and protects me.” I’ve met several widows who are content with their singleness. I have met divorcées who are happy with their singleness, so some say. My heart has so much love to give, I am an amazing and caring woman with dreams to fulfill. Jokingly, I say, I wouldn’t dare deprive a good man from a good woman, so absolutely I want to date. Eventually, I want to remarry. My husband has been deceased for 3.5 years and I am finally concrete about my expectation in terms of dating. I anticipate the chance to do so. My experiences have been complicated, but I remain grounded, expectant and so excited about who is to come. Who God has for us (my girls included) is for us. Perhaps, this is the territory you reside in, no matter how it looks, be sure about what is for you. The next person’s horror experience does not indicate what may happen for you. Keep the faith. So much love to you all.

On Contentment

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

“Before this time another year I may be dead and gone,” words spoken by my late grandmother, Martha Dennis. She lived a life wholesome and without many regrets. She knew there were two things humans were promised, life and death. She was a giver. She was a lover. She was a truth teller. The legacy that she has left us includes her God-given heart. If she saw a need she met the need. She understood the philosophy that it takes a village. Comically, but seriously she would always tell me, Pooh when I die there will be nothing left behind, financially speaking, we will have spent it all.

Because I didn’t grow up understanding how to leave a financial legacy, I was fine by that because I knew her legacy was character filled, which is important too. She knew how to respect others, love others, guide others. As I have educated myself more about legacy building, eventually I understood the importance of wealth legacy and the management of assets. Oftentimes, people live for today rather than building assets and prudently managing what one is blessed to attain because they are of the unadvised and/or selfish mindset that you cannot take anything with you when you die. Perhaps people are of the school of thought that says, I got mine, now you get yours. We are talking about your children or a charity here. I attribute that to the lack of knowledge and fear of not living a full life. People tend to do what they see. You are probably familiar with the saying, you are what you eat. You know, you are who you hang around. If you have five broke friends, you’re likely to be the sixth one. If you have five gossiping associates, you’re undoubtedly, the sixth one.

The Bible says that people perish for the lack of knowledge. What you do not know will hurt you. Applied knowledge is powerful and will impact generations to come. For years, I was unaware of a financial legacy, budgeting, the concept of decreasing debt in order to invest more in retirement accounts and college savings accounts. I knew nothing about interest leveraging. I saved in my bank. When I learned the possibilities and opportunities of legacy building, it made sense to take advantage because I’m interested in living financially independent, but more so than anything I am a living example to my daughters and it is my responsibility to teach them how to respect money. Furthermore, I work and plan too hard not to protect my assets. Net worth equates the value of all of your assets minus your debt. Will your children’s children inherit your debt and doubt or your assets (cash/coins), morals and character? While that may be something to think about, it is certainly worth acting upon.

My financial education derived from my current profession. I am formally an elementary school counselor. Five years ago, I resigned from my position to pursue the financial services industry. As a result, I have committed to learning as much as possible about net worth and financial freedom. Fortunately, I have been centered around financially savvy individuals who have been living what I have recently learned. It makes an impact on self and others when you spend, share and save. Legacy wealth management protects the assets that you have worked so hard to accumulate. I have reputable resources for budgeting, debt elimination, pure life insurance, retirement investments, child savings programs for college, wills and trusts, how to purchase a mortgage, how to purchase an auto loan.

Many individuals are impulsive buyers. Rather than educating self on the mortgage loan buying process, they are eager to purchase and take the importance of an emergency fund out of the equation. Would you agree that understanding the steps to purchase a mortgage is necessary rather than blindly buying one? Would you agree that it is imperative to understand the principal and interest rate included within the mortgage? Would you agree that it is important to consider the mortgage to income ratio? While excitement drives the decision to purchase any large asset, be wise and allow knowledge to guide you prudently. The goal, I assume is to maintain the asset in a comfortable and peaceful manner. Be anxious for nothing, pray and plan about everything. Seek education from a reputable source, before you commit to anything. Once you have attained your assets, make sure you have insurance and a will for management of your assets. Live well, die responsibly. Peace and blessings!

Jesus knew what we needed when He gave us a sacrificing mother who would teach us selflessness, the golden rule, unconditional love and determination.

Everything we have ever decided to do in our lives, our mother has supported personally and shared it with her circle. She is also the one who wholehearted believes in us and cheers us on to follow our dreams.

Never give up, keep the faith, don’t stop believing is what is always fed into our spirits.

Never stop providing for us and our children.

In this life, our mom has given us a foundation, taught us faith, listened to our plans, supported our goals, sacrificed, loved us through our bad, celebrated our successes and shouts it to the world.

Forgiven us and forbidden us from doing what is wrong is how our mom prevents us from destruction and blocking our blessings.

Endurance and encouragement has always been given by our mom

Reminded us of who we are and whose we are.

Jennifer, today and always, Mario and I leave you without a shadow of a doubt. Thank you for being a friend, mom, a voice, a giver, a listener, a helper. You are appreciated. We salute you!

Happy Mother’s Day to moms all over the world!

A girl who knows where she is going. A girl who knows how to entertain herself. A girl who loves learning. A girl who is kind and caring. A girl who is colorful and full of bliss. My little spunky, Rylee is the epitome of drama and creativity. She is introverted, she is full of fun, loves fashion, make-up, nail polish, jewelry making, her mommy and big sissy.

My maternal grandmother believed children should have at least one sibling. Prior to a conversation with her, my husband and I had decided to no longer have any more children due to my many complications during pregnancy. My grandmother made several valid points, so my husband and I took what she’d said into consideration. June 2015, one year after she passed away, Rylee was born. She was born on my paternal grandmother’s birthday and she shares my maternal grandmother’s middle name. It is believed that Rylee has been imparted with many of their qualities. She is curious, analytical, intuitive, a forward thinker, observant, full of light, endearing, loving, family oriented, theatrical, and so much more.

Oftentimes, I contemplate the blessing she has been to my oldest daughter and I. She brings so much value and conscientiousness to our family. Rylee inspires those around to live an exhilarating life. Be true to who you are, make music, dance, wake up and dress up. On her worst day, she looks her best. She loves wearing dresses and high heels shoes. Her zest for life is infectious.

There’s a saying that expresses we only live once. Contrary to what some believe, others debate that we live everyday. I am of the thought that every day we wake up, we are given the opportunity to live. What are you doing with the time allotted? What have you been procrastinating about? What is on your vision board? What is your life’s theme? Are you always ready so you do not have to get ready? Ready for what? The chance that you have been praying for, awaiting, planning for. The lights are on. The camera is focused. It’s time to take action.

Strong. Smart. Gorgeous. Opinionated. Vocal. Integrity. Loyal. Extroverted. Lover of life. Athletic. Determined. Hard worker. Persistent.

July 2008, my family and I celebrated the holiday traditionally at my grandma’s home. My cousin mistakingly, kept bumping into my chest and it caused so much pain. The last time she did so, she said I was pregnant. I never thought that could be true because my husband and I had not planned to be parents any time soon. We had only been married a year and our plan was to wait at the minimum five years. The next day I took a pregnancy test and, you guessed it, POSITIVE! I was pregnant. My husband and I were overwhelmed with so much joy. Throughout my first two trimesters I had extremely severe morning sickness. I’d like to call it morning, noon and evening sickness. I felt horrible, thankfully during the summer months, we worked from the office rather than the school because I seldom wore professional attire, neatly arranged my braids and let’s not forget how tardy I was EVERYDAY. I was miserable, hahahaha. Time progressed, my son was developing healthy, my symptoms became bearable and excited could not describe what we felt as we anticipated the arrival of Caleb Thaddues Hudson who was due February 26, 2009.

Sadly, October 2008, while at East High School, where I had worked, what was a normal day turned into an agonizing life memory. I began to feel contractions at 19 weeks pregnant. The administrative secretary rushed me to the hospital where I later loss our son. Hurt. Frustrated. Despair. Insecure. Sad. Mad. I was filled with grief. We had no idea how that had happened. We were left without an explanation. We attempted again December 2008 and you will not believe at 16 weeks pregnant, April 16, 2009, our son Chase Alexander Hudson, was stillborn. Whew, JESUS!!!!! I had already changed my doctor since there was NO clear reason why I had loss my first son from my previous doctor. Once we discovered, it’s solely my body, we were lost for words! Depressed. Reticent. Curious as to why and how does this continue to happen, my husband and I prayed and sought an explanation. In 2010, the Lord used two doctors within the clinic who mentally helped us more so than anything, have a healthy and oh so gorgeous little rainbow baby.

The moment I placed my eyes on Chance, I freely praised God for the gift He had given us. She was and remains everything and more. I could not have been given a better baby girl. My heart was full and daily when I think about how she belongs to me, I am undoubtedly, blessed and proud. God really did an incredible thing when He created my oldest daughter.

Chance Imani Hudson, a little socialite, preteen of integrity, helpful, full of life, strong-willed, courageous, lover of Jesus Christ, a therapist, is our rainbow after the storm. Chance loves making TikTok videos, baking, lacrosse, soccer, volleyball, tennis, cross country, gymnastics, girl time with her baby sister and her friends. She enjoys family gatherings, watching movies, her alone time, attending school, and doing her nails. Her personality is chatty and easy going. She is a private person. She keeps me in check. Hahahaha, she never says, OKAY. She always negotiates. In her opinion, she always has a better idea. Whew, Chile!!!!!! She possesses a mammoth amount of energy and never wants the party to end. She loves love. She is a meticulous shopper. She understands the concept of working hard and playing hard. She is a confident little girl who will wear two different patterns and be the loudest in the room. It tickles me because I am watching how she focuses so much on how time is spent, rather than what she looks like while it’s spent. Her focus is always internal, how it makes her feel. She is self-assured.

Chance will wear jeans, a pullover, a beautiful hairstyle, manicured nails and be equipped with all of the her Apple products. Chance inspires me to be comfortable in the skin that I am in, she shows me that weird is cool and if we were all the same the world would be boring. People will accept you as you are or leave you alone and that is okay. Do not shrink who you are to fit in. The way she lives her life reminds me not to sweat the small stuff. Her life screams, “Be who you are!”

Life has its ups, downs and turn arounds. There will be obstacles. There will be hills to climb, mountains to move. My baby’s life is an example of how valid struggles are and how persistence and prayer pays off. As a result of having Chance as a daughter I am awarded the life experience to ride this roller coaster of life with this beautiful, spirited little leader. As she often tells me, “ Mom, worry about yourself.” In other words, concern myself with what makes me secure and free. Live life without any regrets. Set your own standards. Be kind. Live out your morals taught by love ones. Follow the golden rule. Live hope. Love truly. Laugh aloud. Indeed, this rainbow serves as an infinite reminder that dreams come true. Chance, is our dream come true. I’m so glad to have her. There’s a rainbow, after the storm. Don’t you dare give up! Chance is a reminder of what is worth fighting for, no matter how far fetched it seems. No matter how impossible, it feels. Don’t you dare stop trying! So much love to you all!

The law of attraction is a philosophy that says you possess what you profess. If you think positive then positive things will happen. When you think negatively then negative things will happen. My car was located on the church parking lot for two weeks. I was extremely busy and did not make arrangements to pick it up. My mom’s lunch break did not collaborate with my schedule and so I continued to procrastinate picking up my car from the parking lot. I contemplated who could take me to get my car at another time, but never took the time to definitely make it priority because I had so many obligations.

Tuesday morning, I declared I would get my car. My plan was to walk to the church’s parking lot to pick up my car because my mom had something important to do during her break time. Once I dropped my daughters off at school, I arrived home and before I decided to take care of some necessary business, I began to walk to get my car. As I was walking, I called a friend who lives a little bit over a mile from me. I told her I was walking to her home and I needed her to take me to the church’s parking lot. She chuckled and asked if I were walking seriously. I replied and said I was. She insisted on coming to get me and I refused. As I continued my walk, I encountered my neighbor’s sister who had stopped me to say thanks for a kind deed I’d shown towards her. We began to talk and before we ended our conversation I informed her that I was walking to my friend’s home so she could take me to pick up my car. You guessed it, she offered to drive me to pick up my car. I showed my appreciation and rejected. Once I finished my conversation with her, I continued my walk and I began to contemplate on the law of attraction. Once you profess a thing, you will possess that thing. There is power in the tongue. The Bible tells us that whatever we speak in our heart is what we possess. Once we add action to what we think, manifestation transpires. Move from thinking to acting.

The practice of professing what you possess is full of motion. It sets things into action. Be ready to receive once you speak it. When I said I was going to pick up my car, there were doors opened to help me reach the goal, but I had a plan and it was executed. It was a matter of moments when I began to execute that positivity attracted my plan. I professed that I would pick up my car. I planned my strategy. I positioned myself to received. Blessings came towards me. I was presented with choices to help me fulfill my plan. When there is a decision made, when a plan is captured and put into motion, then thoughts are erected into what was envisioned. What you prioritize is what gets done. Let’s get busy accomplishing what matters. Live life on purpose in purpose.

Nothing stands between a girl and her shoes. Unless it’s her children. Mothers around the world are being celebrated this month for their unselfish love, their sacrifices, their memory making with their little ones, their unmatched example. On this day 37 years ago, a mom had made dresses for her daughter’s wedding party including her daughter’s bridal gown. The mom was thrilled to ensure the grandeur of the ceremony by setting the tone in luxurious, custom gowns. She’d worked so thoroughly on those dresses. They were detailed and totally what her little girl had dreamt of. As she reflects on pictures from that unforgettable occasion, she’s reminded of her love and care she expressed then and continues to display. The mom dressed elegantly in a mauve dress adorned with coordinating accessories and mistakingly had forgotten to purchase her cream shoes. What is a mom to do! A woman adores her shoes. She stands tall and walks confidently in a stunning and comfortable pair of shoes. Rather than fret, this mom wore a navy pair of shoes to coordinate with her attire that screamed, “I’m the mother of the bride.” Can you imagine 37 years later, reminiscing through pictures and those shoes serve as a reminder of an act of kindness shown to the one who means the world to you!! Yes indeed, that symbol of love will forever be etched in her heart.

Sacrificial and unconditional is what I think of when I think of mothers. A mother’s love begins the moment she learns of her child in utero. A mother’s care remains no matter the maturity of her child. This mother’s selfless actions are an amazing example of how, no matter how old your child becomes you will always want what is best for your child. This month join me in celebrating moms everywhere.

Below are some memorable ways to celebrate mom: 1. Shopping spree 2. Upscale dinner 3. Spa day 4. Floral delivery 5. Netflix and chill 6. Attend church with her 6. Manicure and pedicure 7. Memorable custom jewelry 8. Photo shoot 9. Housekeeping service 10. Detail car 11. Take flowers to her gravesite (so much love to you)

The memories made cannot be stolen. Moms, as you are raising your children, you are their example of how love should be given. You are their example of how grace should be extended. Reflect on parenting moments that are special. No matter how old, no matter how tall, being a mother to your children remains always. You are the reason your children are as resilient as they are. You are the reason your children are as determined as they are. God has gifted you with unique treasures. Continue to handle the present with dignity and care. There’s no greater love, other than God’s love, than a mother’s love! What a good thing God performed when He created women with the ability to develop a craft in the image of Him! So much love to you.

Words of wisdom from the notable designer Diane Furstenburg, “I have always believed that when you have a voice, you have the obligation to empower others.”

In business and in life, your voice will empower those around you, your example will inspire those around you to sharpen their character and skills. I recall countless occasions within business and personally, I have given sound advice only for it to be unaccepted, but when someone mentioned the same thing, it was accepted and executed. I mean, the individual receiving the information acted as if it were the first time the idea was shared. Present-day, I sit back and observe the behavior of certain individuals, I am aware of the bias displayed towards others due to their elitism, professional status, experience, socioeconomic status. It bugs the heck out of me. I have come to the realization that you have to put some respect on your own name by using your voice in the most confident way, showing people your true self. Speak up and speak out and continue to do so, no matter who does not acknowledge your ideas and solutions.

Typically, one would crawl into a shell, have a pity party, murmur about not being heard or feeling overlooked. Do not allow exclusion to promote reticent behavior, which triggers you not to share your knowledge and thoughts. Be aware of feelings of isolation that attempt to overtake you mentally at the conference table. I do not know if you have ever experienced someone stealing your ideas. I am uncertain if you allow others to execute without acknowledging your ideas. Some say, it is not important, but it means something, which is why initially it is imperative to speak up about your ideas. You have a passion and a vision as well. Put some respect on your name by continuing to share your experiences, plans and solutions.

Do not let others to trample over you. Always stay ready, so you do not have to get ready in terms of your profession and other matters of life. Lengthen your posture. Speak confidently and firmly. Use eye contact. Be clear and concise. Own it and walk fiercely. You have what it takes just as much as others around you. Respect is earned and you definitely deserve it. Fear not what others may think or say because you continue to speak up and out. Take your rightful position. There’s so much inside of you awaiting to be shared with the world. Put some respect on your name. Use what you got! Someone needs to hear from you. Live life on purpose in purpose.