Do You Really Mean That?

Say what you mean and mean what you say. There lies so much regret in saying the opposite of what you mean. Have you ever thought about what you’re going to say before you say it and when it is time to say it, you did not say anything you rehearsed to say. Why is that? Why are you punking out? You know, you really wanted to tell someone what’s on your heart and mind, but you’re too afraid of how he/she may respond. Listen, you are in control of yourself. You can’t rehearse what you are going to say and then what said person will say only to get nowhere in the process. Just say what you mean and mean what you say, listen with your heart and go from there. Imagine how much mental space you occupy when you torment yourself in the preparation process before you actually go and speak with the individual. Earlier in life, there were times when I lost sleep stressing about how to tell someone something. The greatest worry was their response, perhaps rejection, or fear of their perspective towards me will change, maybe even judgment. As India Arie sings, “Just let it go and set yourself free.” Well maybe she wasn’t talking about this type of circumstance, but these words are befitting. There should come a time in one’s life when you’re able to effectively communicate your point without hesitation. Undoubtedly, implicit communication comes with life experiences which triggers wisdom; thereby, acknowledging the significance of being honest and straight forward not abrasively, but lovingly.

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to tell someone no, but couldn’t because of fear. We fear what folk think. We fear how folk will act towards us, as aforementioned, after we respond. I was talking to one of my homeboys about “The Art of saying NO PERIOD,” meaning no with a period on the end and his concern was the guilt that comes along with that. I encouraged him to say no with an explanation only if he feels convicted to do so maybe because the individual meant so much to him. Let’s be clear, the depth of the level of conviction depends on the quality of the relationship. So, yes I understand how you may toil with saying no, but I encouraged him to mean what he says and say what he means because at any point there’s doubt, you will easily succumb. Individuals will live their entire lives saying things obscurely, living in distress and for others rather than self. Don’t. Do. It.

In the year 2021, I admonish you to be open and honest. Stop holding on to thoughts and feelings. Release them in a respectful and dignified manner. There’s no reason to be mean, remember all things in love and some things may require more firmness. Guess what, that’s ok. Make room for peace and serenity. I declare effective and clear communication in 2021. Free your mind. Some things are not as serious as we make them out to be. Stop thinking so much and say what you mean and mean what you say. So much love to you all.