A year of satisfaction for the sake of mankind and for the uplifting of my spirit. The year of 37, I shared my grief journey with countless widows. I have met and bonded with some phenomenal new people. I have failed my exam a few times. I have used an inappropriate tone and body language with my daughters. I have second guessed myself. I have questioned the path that I have my daughter on in terms of school. I have pondered moving to another continent. I have been dissatisfied with my progress in my career. I have felt inadequate. I have worshipped and praised. I have sat in worship wandering about my tomorrow. I have weeped. I have smiled. I have been honest with myself. I have hoped that I would be a better model for my daughters. I have contemplated what life would be like for my girls if their dad were here. I have had self sabotaging thoughts. I have been thankful. I have felt blessed. I have felt confused. I have felt drained. I have felt left out. I have felt a part. There have been days that I have felt as if where I am is not where I am supposed to be no matter what the saints say.
As a teenager, I’d plan to graduate college, solidify my career, marry, move into a home, have children and live happily ever after. To my surprise, my happily ever after has been painted with a deeper blue than I imagined. I have had prayers answered. Some unanswered. Yes, as fluctuating as my state of being seems, I feel thankful, GRATEful and blessed to have a connection with all five senses, healthy humans who are turning out to be all that God says, great friends, loving family and a decision to live my life to the glory of the Most High God. Goodbye 37 and tomorrow morning I welcome 38 and GRATEful!
As I embark upon this new year around the sun, I anticipate goodness and fondness of all the things that should meet me along the way. I anticipate lessons to learn. I anticipate wisdom to gain. I anticipate communication with patience and understanding. I anticipate caring for me internally and externally. I anticipate discovering and exploring God’s Earth. The moment of anticipation drives thrill and eagerness as I am trusting God on this walk. I am met with much jubilance as I approach the next moment of time. A season to continue my development. A season to continue to gain insight from wise ones. A season to deprogram and shift thinking that stunts connection and correction, which engages my inner self to become greater for the next level within my life. I am gearing up for 38. I am praying for a season of rebirth. I am cultivating seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. This year will be a year of 38 & GRATEr!!!!
So much love to you all!
One thought on “38 and GRATEful”
My sweet and selfless sister, you are an amazing mother, friend, sister and most of all, woman of God!!! It’s ok to not be perfect!!! God created us to need Him. And as long as God blesses us to live on this earth, we will experience unexpected circumstances. It is imperitive for us to ask God to lead and guide us on the path He knows all so well and that’s Not unexpected to Him. In the 2nd part of John 16:33 it says …In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. You too shall overcome with God leading and taking you on the path He has for you. Stay encouraged and know I love you very much, and that God loves you best!!! 💞