38 and GRATEful

A year of satisfaction for the sake of mankind and for the uplifting of my spirit. The year of 37, I shared my grief journey with countless widows. I have met and bonded with some phenomenal new people. I have failed my exam a few times. I have used an inappropriate tone and body language with my daughters. I have second guessed myself. I have questioned the path that I have my daughter on in terms of school. I have pondered moving to another continent. I have been dissatisfied with my progress in my career. I have felt inadequate. I have worshipped and praised. I have sat in worship wandering about my tomorrow. I have weeped. I have smiled. I have been honest with myself. I have hoped that I would be a better model for my daughters. I have contemplated what life would be like for my girls if their dad were here. I have had self sabotaging thoughts. I have been thankful. I have felt blessed. I have felt confused. I have felt drained. I have felt left out. I have felt a part. There have been days that I have felt as if where I am is not where I am supposed to be no matter what the saints say.

As a teenager, I’d plan to graduate college, solidify my career, marry, move into a home, have children and live happily ever after. To my surprise, my happily ever after has been painted with a deeper blue than I imagined. I have had prayers answered. Some unanswered. Yes, as fluctuating as my state of being seems, I feel thankful, GRATEful and blessed to have a connection with all five senses, healthy humans who are turning out to be all that God says, great friends, loving family and a decision to live my life to the glory of the Most High God. Goodbye 37 and tomorrow morning I welcome 38 and GRATEful!

As I embark upon this new year around the sun, I anticipate goodness and fondness of all the things that should meet me along the way. I anticipate lessons to learn. I anticipate wisdom to gain. I anticipate communication with patience and understanding. I anticipate caring for me internally and externally. I anticipate discovering and exploring God’s Earth. The moment of anticipation drives thrill and eagerness as I am trusting God on this walk. I am met with much jubilance as I approach the next moment of time. A season to continue my development. A season to continue to gain insight from wise ones. A season to deprogram and shift thinking that stunts connection and correction, which engages my inner self to become greater for the next level within my life. I am gearing up for 38. I am praying for a season of rebirth. I am cultivating seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. This year will be a year of 38 & GRATEr!!!!

So much love to you all!